Previewing Nehemiah

I am beginning a study of the book of Nehemiah. It is a great Old Testament book that is full of lessons in leadership.

I'm sure I'll write more posts on the book later, but after reading through it a couple of times this week, I want to share two verses that jump out at me:



Nehemiah 4:14
When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: “Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses.”

Are you fighting for your family? As men, it becomes very easy to be tough on our family, when in reality, we need to be tough for our family! Do not be afraid to take up arms for the sake and well being of your family. After all, I firmly believe we will be held accountable for how well we lead our family!

Nehemiah 6:3
So I sent messengers to them, saying, “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?”

Remember...you are doing a great work in your life. Do not let things that do not matter become a distraction. There are so many things that distract us, get us off our wall, and slow or stop our great work!

Look at your wife and kids and say, "I am doing a great work here and I cannot come off this wall!"

What's pulling you off your wall of great work? Your job? Your buddies? Your computer? Facebook? Your hobbies?

None of those things are necessarily bad, but when they take priority over your kids, your wife, or whatever God has called you to...they've pulled you off the wall and your great work has stopped!

So, don't be afraid to say, "I'm doing a great work here, and I'm not coming off this wall! Sorry I can't ______________________________."


There will be lots more coming from Nehemiah, but these two verses need to be ones you post on your mirror and look at everyday!

Reaching Back. Looking Forward.

This week I was given something very special.

It was my Grandpa Kaehr's Bible. It was something I always looked at when I would visit my Grandma and was something I always wanted to have. Well, as my Grandma is getting ready to move into assisted living, my Aunt let me know that I could have the Bible.

It really is something special. I love looking through and seeing his pen marks, his hand writing, his folds in the pages. While Grandpa has been gone for 16 years this past August, it was like he was sitting right next to me. (It is the same feeling I get when I look through my Dad's Bible.) I was 18 when he passed away and I think about him often...even more so these last two years since my dad died. My Grandpa was a great man of Faith and I have no doubt he was standing there waiting to welcome his son home a couple of years ago.

Looking through Grandpa's Bible, it was obvious he spent a lot of time reading and studying the Word. He was pressing it, searching it, praying over it, and working to apply it in his life. What a great legacy to have, look at, and share with my family! Being able to look through his Bible and my dad's Bible is a great reminder of where I came from and the heritage I have the responsibility to pass forward.


Then I went and looked at my Bible, and thought about someday passing it down to my boys (along with my dad's and Grandpa's). I want my boys to look at my Bible and know how much time I spent reading it. I want them to know I not only acted like a Christian, but I spent time studying my Savior's Word and was working out my salvation by digging into the Word to apply to my life.

Heritage is an important thing. The heritage of this family is something I am building on everyday. Even more of a blessing is I am building on the foundation my Grandpa and dad.

What kind of heritage are you building? When you reach back into your past, you may not have a great foundation. You may not have generations of Godly men or even good examples of decent people. But, that doesn't mean you can't have something better to pass forward.

YOU can be a the new foundation your children and your grand children build on. So, get after it!

Time for Questions

How can I get my husband to talk to me more?
Why do my boys always want to wrestle?
Why doesn't my wife understand I need time away with my buddies?
How do I teach my boys about manhood?

If you have any questions about your husband, your wife, your kids, or anything else take a minute and email them to me! I hope to have a montly post with some of the best questions of the month!

You can email me at: askdustink@gmail.com.

Do You See the Warrior?

Sorry, folks...I know it has been too long since I have posted. No real valid excuses other then lack of dedication to writing, but it's something I hope to get back to. With that in mind, if you have ideas you'd like to me to write about or questions, please email them to me! I'd love some ideas to get back into writing more!

Until then, I came across this post from The M.O.B (Mother's of Boys) Society. It rings so true for boys and food for thought if you are the mother or father of boys.

Do You See the Warrior?

While at the site, you can sign up for their daily email. It's usually a great daily read...even for F.O.B.'s (Father's of Boys).

Past. Present. Future.

Bear with me. I thought I'd try to create a video blog. It's the first one, so I hope they'll get better the more of them I do.



If you have an interest in "The Great Adventure" visit River Oaks' website to sign up.

We are offering the class on Tuesday nights (7-8:30pm) or Saturday mornings (6:30-8am). Classes start next week.

Seeing the movie COURAGEOUS won't make you a better father

It won't make you a better husband.
It won't make you a better friend.

How do I know?

Tell me...when was the last time you watched a movie and it absolutely changed your life? Not just inspired you for a short period of time, but changed your life from that day forward?

Exactly.

Now, I haven't seen the movie and I'm sure as movies go, it will be good. This is from the same group that did Facing the Giants and it was a good movie, with a great message, and 1,000's of men went to see it.

Here is my problem: Many men will go, see the movie, feel convicted by it...and 6 weeks later won't be able to tell much about it. There won't be any real change. Men will go to make their wives "feel like he's trying". Wives will think he "really cares" because he went to the movie.

Becoming a father that is engaged with your kids doesn't happen because you watch a movie

Fighting to save your marriage can't happen because you read a book.

Becoming a husband that is leading your family and loving your wife can't happen because you attended a class.

If you want those things in your life, you have to do something! You have to physically do something different then you were doing before. Alcoholics that want to stop drinking can't just go to AA meetings. They need to quit buying alcohol, going to bars, and stop lifting the bottle to their lips!

See the difference? Lots of men will go see the movie, but when it's all said and done, they go right back to the bar and there is no change. (FYI...this problem isn't just with men, I think this a problem with a lot of people who claim to be Christians. They accepted Jesus as their saviour, but there is no real change. Jesus says he will cut down the trees that aren't producing fruit and throw them into the fire.)

Now, seeing the movie or going to a class like Men's Fraternity is a good place to start because it should wake you up to some things that need to change. But, just seeing the movie doesn't do anything for you.

So, go see the movie. The church I go to (River Oaks) is holding a small group discussion starting October 9th. You can visit riveroaks.org to learn more.

So, join Men's Fraternity. I am starting to teach The Great Adventure beginning October 4th (7:00 PM) or October 8th (6:30 AM). You can contact me or visit riveroaks.org to learn more.

But, remember...you have to want the change. Seeing the movie (or going to a class) won't make it happen. Only YOU can. Like the line in the song below says, we need watchers to become warriors.

Guys vs Men

Mark Driscoll uses a quote I like very much (and have used since hearing it):

'Guys' are nothing more than 'Boys' who can shave.

I like it because it gets right to this issue of boys never growing up and becoming men. So, let me give you 5 quick differences between 'Guys' and 'Men'. Then you can see which you are (or which you married):

• Guys think it's all about them.
• Men know that it's about everyone but them. They give of their time, energy, and money to put their family first in all things, all the time.

• Guys have lots of buddies.
• Men have group of friends they can lean on when they are down...and that can hold them down when they begin to stray. Friends that aren't afraid to speak truth to them, even if it hurts.

• Guys like the idea of their wife working instead of staying home with the kids.
• Men realize they need to work hard to provide for their family and asking their wife to work more so they can continue a certain lifestyle instead of making tough budget decisions makes them "worse than an unbeliever" and someone who has "denied their faith".

• Guys think things are fine and they don't need a class or men's retreat.
• Men realize there is such a better life out there for them in their marriage, with their kids, and with other men. So, they look for opportunities to connect with other men and learn how to interact with family and friends deeper.

• Guys are tough on their family.
• Men are tough for their family. They fight for the family. They get off their butts and step in front to lead their family....not walk beside their wife, but walk in front of them. They become a pastor to their kids and model Christ. They lead their wife closer to Christ. They deal with a mom, dad, or in-law that has too much influence on their marriage. They take full responsibility for everything to do with their family.

If you are curious about any of these points, I encourage you to go back read some my earlier posts from the last couple of months...as I dive into a lot of these issues.

Plus, if you are a guy (or man) and are looking for an opportunity to grow in your faith and pick up some skills to be a better leader, husband, or father, I want to encourage you to attend The Weekend, September 16-17, 2011 at Life Action Camp (Buchanan, MI). It is hosted by River Oaks Community Church and you can visit their website to sign up. The deadline for sign-up is Sunday. I challenge you to sign up and get a 3 or 4 of your friends to sign up too...it will be worth the effort.

If you have questions about The Weekend, you can email me, call me, or leave a comment here (or on Facebook) and I will get back to you.